50 Shades of Sexual Abuse: The Misinterpretation of Romance and Wholesome BDSM“I just finished reading the most AWESOME book…” a woman whispers, sneaking up to her friend's ear next to her. “Fifty Shades of Grey!” Her friend gasps and blushes, turning to her with wide eyes. “You mean the one about slavery?” The woman nods, smiling mischievously. Her friend starts to frown. “But isn't that also the one where he stalks her, controls her, and lashes out at her?” The woman hesitates but continues to smile. “Yes, but it's so sexy and romantic!” Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Despite what fans of the popular erotic novel claim, there is nothing sexy or romantic about manipulation and obsession, a common theme in E.L. James's Fifty Shades of Grey. The series is extremely problematic due to its normalization of abuse, anti-feminist messages, and demonstration of unhealthy sexual practices, including improper portrayal of BDSM. Anyone who has read the series is aware that Fifty Shades has a habit of romanticizing stalking and controlling behavior. In the novel, Christian Gray keeps a GPS on protagonist Anastasia Steele to follow her at all times, making her more of a pet than a companion. Gray further demonstrates his boundary issues and clinginess by showing up when repeatedly asked not to, literally following her around and often not allowing her to drive or see friends. He is obsessive in nature and not only dictates where she can go and when, but also what she eats and wears, guarding her body as if it were his own and limiting her food intake like a prisoner. Christian uses emotional manipulation and physical intimidation to force Anastasia to have sex, beats her with a belt when he is angry with her, and has said terrifying phrases such as "I might have to torture you." And “I will strike you six times and you will count with me.” These are all alarming signs of an abusive relationship. Anastasia constantly expresses throughout the novel her fear of upsetting Christian, in fear of seeing his anger and being beaten, just as any victim of domestic violence would. In fact, according to House Of Ruth, many signs of an abusive relationship include fear of your partner's character, being hit or pushed by your partner, not being able to see family or friends due to your partner's jealousy, being forced to have sex, being forced to describe everything you do and everywhere you go to avoid your partner's anger, and believing you can't live without your partner. Anastasia says to herself after being forced to have sex: "But now I feel like a receptacle, an empty vessel to be filled as she pleases." All of these symptoms are clear signs of abuse. To make matters worse, the author asks the audience to forgive Gray for his irrational behavior due to his terrible childhood, which involved instances of physical and emotional abuse. His backstory is meant to justify Grey's actions, and the main character is supposed to pity him rather than realize he's in danger. This is not only harmful to readers' mindsets, as it implies that these dangerous and offensive traits are not only desirable, but are standard in a romantic relationship and can be overlooked (especially if your abuser has a lot of money and abs). ). Relationship abusers will also manipulate their partner into believing that their actions are excusable and that their partner deserves punishment. Fifty.