In Let Your Life Speak, Palmer paraphrases the wisdom given by Quaker Ruth by saying "there is as much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and happens – maybe more.” its premise amounts to heresy against Western cultural ideology. The experience has led me to agree with this premise, having found greater guidance and personal reward when the proverbial door closed on a goal or. a direction I was marching in but was not equipped to embrace Although our cultural mythology dictates success despite limitations as the reward for honest effort, relegating failure to the lazy, many find upon reflection that failure offers greater guidance and insight. personal reward. In my adolescence I was often asked to take care of younger siblings or cousins, I was occasionally paid by neighbors to do the same, while preparing food for a 5 year old cousin, I learned a first lesson in acceptable failure. Despite repeated instructions and warnings to stop bothering my sister's cat, the boy was apparently completely convinced that cats like to sit on it, or at least he was until the cat let out one last irritated growl. and raked her tormentor with her claws before quickly fleeing under a bed. Although he was taught that the cat would react angrily and get hurt, it was the experience that taught the lesson. Even when I was 12 I recognized the impact of the lesson, my cousin was much more careful about things he was told would hurt him, and although he was still curious and interested in the cat, he stayed away from the animal. Years later, while studying the psychological processes underlying learning, I was introduced to the concept of tolerated failure... middle of paper... and reproduction; if the reason for his premature death is genetically transmissible, then his death makes the genetic heritage of his species better suited to survive in the existing environment. In American society an individual is a "failure" when he is unable to achieve a goal to which he aspires. However, as both Palmer's life and mine indicate; if the reason for this failure is due to limitations or liabilities that would have made them unfit for the responsibilities of their aspiration, or would have provided them with the seeds of greater success, then it is not truly failure, it is experience. I believe the American poet and activist Maya Angelou was at her best when she said in 2004: “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter defeats in order to know who you are, what you can recover from, and how you can still get out of it..”