I didn't feel like I belonged, and any effort on my part to display my masculinity felt unnatural. Behaving like myself had become playing a character. I felt like the media had stripped me of my masculinity and virility, and it was up to me to prove that I still had it. I started acting out in school, being loud even though I was a reserved person by nature. This was my pathetic way of pleading exclusion from the social group I was placed in. Social media and Hollywood portrayals had left me without idols to identify with, which made it difficult to enjoy published material. I looked to my father and grandparents for guidance and thought they weren't going through the same struggle as me, they were placed in social groups they didn't belong to. I have learned and accepted that no matter what I do, the socialization of others will see me differently than I see myself. It wasn't up to me to change his mind; they had to make the choice and see it for themselves. Although the basic portrayals of Asian males in our culture have been negative, it has given me a rewarding experience that has shaped my